Rob Caine MBE has a 30-year career as a fast jet pilot and operational commander. He is also passionate about psychology, leadership and high-performance coaching. Alongside his military role he runs his own coaching company, Aces Pegasus.
Some people struggle to find their purpose or have clear and stretching ambitions for their future. I completely understand. Without really analysing our own Ikigai diagrams and working out what we should be doing in life, most of us fall into things through habit or luck. But it does not have to be that way and I was blessed with good fortune about what I wanted to do from a young age. Maybe this story and some powerful tools can help you a little too?
I was the 11-year-old who wanted to be a fast jet pilot and, sadly for my family, did not grow up. Despite the trite adage that you cannot grow up and be a fighter pilot, my reasons for my ambition were much more a mixture of adventure and deeply held conviction. Of course, I loved sports and academic work, but I was really passionate about trying my absolute best and striving for things seemingly out of reach. I wanted a job that really challenged me both mentally and physically - an office job would not quite cut it. The Royal Air Force job adverts now says, “No Ordinary Job” and that is absolutely true (whatever profession you choose to serve in if you join an amazing family like the RAF). However, I love the motto of the RAF, “Per Ardua Ad Astra” – “Through Adversity to the Stars. The lesson for me was - Life is never easy, but set your ambition sky high and make your obstacles become your opportunities.
I loved the idea of flying, and unlike my friend and co-director Al “Peps” Pepper, where Top Gun was more of a factor, I guess my influence was probably, at a sub-conscious level, the amazing Star Wars films which first came out in Canada when I was about five years old. I think some terrible teenage fashion choices for a black waistcoat highlighted that I actually wanted to be Han Solo, flying to save the Galaxy against the evil Empire! Isn’t it amazing what your sub conscious mind is picking up ALL of the time.
However, on a more serious level, my parents were really diligent in makes me and my brother watch the documentary series, “The World at War” while we were about nine and eleven respectively as we lived in South Africa under the last terrible days of Apartheid. The last episode, Number 26 if you look on You Tube, tries to sum up the terrible nature of war by personalising the tragedy and unfairness of it all. The amazing narrator, the esteemed actor Laurence Olivier, spells out in the most penetratingly British way possible that, in one key scene, we really were watching people fight to the death for a rotten potato in a prison camp.
The message is clear, "this is the World at War, and we should all do our part to stop it happening again." That was it. I wanted to do my part, against the unfairness of Apartheid racism, against far right or extremist leaders who dragged people into tragedy, and yes, by challenging myself flying fast jets while I fought against evil.
In later life, I have had an amazing time flying Tornado and Hawk jets all around the world and I learned a lot from failing and succeeding along the way. I really want to pass on this knowledge and experience in my work and in my coaching. It is not simply about leadership and high-performance. As I did when I was 11 years old, I still really want to help people, add value and be of service. If this was my passion then my family and ensuring their future, both at home and in a free and democratic country, was my purpose. Even today, with a more uncertain and dangerous world, I am passionate about doing my part. For my son, for my wife, for my family, for my community, for freedom. It sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? As Simon Sinek says, find your why. Mine is hugely powerful and heart felt.
However, I have also learned a lot from my wife and her passion and profession - Horses. Like a Harry Potter story, the ‘Equine World’ is full of potions, confusing terminology, danger, and occasionally flying about in an uncontrolled manner. It is also a small community and a world of amazing people doing amazing things that most sensible folk simply do not understand. I did not understand it and especially so when my wife was doing her Masters in Equine Science and riding at a dangerously advanced level in 3-Day and 1-Day Eventing. Let’s just say equine biomechanics are complicated and high rotational cross country falls very risky. I was also, if truth be told, a little wary of horses and way out of my comfort zone.
When I started trying to learn to ride, I did it to understand my wife’s world more, to overcome my fear, and to learn more. Sadly, for someone who normally picks up new skills easily; I had another jolt, I was not very natural or good at it. Compared to most I am still a novice after many years in the saddle. However, I took that problem as a challenge and loved learning new skills. Hilariously as I became more proficient, I set a new ambition to do some low level 1-Day British Eventing (jumping 90cm fences cross country) my amazing instructor Kate burst out laughing. Not a great confidence booster! But with the help of my brilliant wife Arantxa, my family, my coaches and others, I did learn how to ride better, bond with my ever-patient horse Theo and learn how to get “in flow”, in “my fast jet bubble” and ride the next fence. The bond with another living thing, weighing 650kg and travelling at 30mph cross country, and jumping big solid fences was just like the adrenaline of flying a Tornado at 600mph at 100ft off the ground or being shot at with a superb crew mate working in synergy with each other to achieve the mission and survive.
So, when you are trying to find your purpose, maybe take some time to find out what core things anchor you in your life. It can take just 5 minutes of purposeful practise and concentration. Think of 4 things that shaped you, 3 things that drive you, 2 things that catch your attention and the 1 most important thing(s) in your life.
Merge this analysis with your own Ikigai diagram and, like me, you may just see a pattern for what you should do and why. Or maybe, get out of your comfort zone, maybe get on a horse, and do something amazing and new. You never know where it will take you. Reach for the Stars!
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